Existential Crisis

I've been restless all day yesterday, a very strange feeling, the one that I've never experienced before in my entire life. It was a regular day - Starting with a lazy, lethargic morning, checking and responding to emails, a heavy lunch, followed by some work at office - just like any other day; just that I got my bi-weekly paycheck. But, what changed? There was no hike, nothing to complain about it.  Everything seemed to be the same as every alternate Friday ... NOT!!!!

2012 had been an eventful year for me - house renovation back home, my marriage, my sister getting married. If all of this being a 3-layered vanilla pastry cake, there had to be cherry on top of it. And yes, there is! All my debts had been cleared off. I mean, all of it - credit cards, loans, debts to friend(s). This had to happen some time, it's been only 5 and 1/2 years that I've been working now!

This is the first time in 5 and 1/2 years that I'll not be worrying about how to adjust/move money here and there. "So this is good, right?!!" you might ask. But, here's the problem. What do I do now? Like a machine, I've been Working and thinking with one objective till now - to clear all my debts. Ah, the simpler times.

I logged into my checking account 3 times, once into each of my credit card account to see if anything as changed (miraculously, I guess!) - Just like opening the fridge every half an hour to see if something had popped up; the only difference being, fridge is always empty and my bank account always seemed full. What to do with it?

Since my rebirth (@ DA-IICT), I've always been a fan of Existentialism, but now everything seems Absurd. I can always come up with new goals for a new future - but, to what end? and to what purpose? I guess what my seventh grade teacher said to me fits well in this context. "Manohar", she said, "They say, an idle mind is a Devil's workshop."