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Before and after a word has been uttered, both the sender and recipient will no longer be in the same state. This change is permanent. That's the power of a word.
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It all started when I wanted to apologize (sincerely, with all my heart) to a person. The first (pathetic) word that came out of my mouth was 'Sorry!'. But, he wouldn't understand that since he did not know english at all, not even a word of it. The last and only resort I had was the word 'ksHamincHandi!' (roughly and vaguely translated to common english, it would mean 'Sorry!'). A strange thing happened. It was on the tip of my tongue, yet, it wasn't coming out. I wanted to, really, I do, but I couldn't.
I stormed out of that place, all frustrated and on top of it, confused (note that I did not apologize yet - I had my own problems to take care of). For hours, I was wondering why I could not do it. And then, it struck me, like a lightning! The first thing I did - went straight to the person and was able to apologize. Now that I'm done, allow me to share with you the reason ...
To err is human, but using that as excuse has become a habit. So, the word that comes handy to everyone (that includes me) and every occasion is 'Sorry'. It's like we make mistakes just to use the "S" word. We've systematically murdered the bhava, the soul of the word 'Sorry' because of the 'context-free' and hap-hazard use. One advantage of the unfortunate influence of english over regional languages - We seldom use the words like 'ksHamincHandi!', 'maaF keejiye!' and so on. And hence, the very soul of such words is tremendously powerful and still surviving. I've not been able to cope up with its power (if I may say so) and therefore found it difficult for use.
Another Instance (Warning!!! Parental Advisory. Keep your children away from the following content!). By now, every living soul (that knows me directly or indirectly) is aware of my boothu-purAna. Very rarely would you find a sentence (that comes out of my mouth) which doesn't contain the you-know-what words. Again, because of the 'context-free' use, the words like 'mAdarcHod', 'beHncHod', 'Maa-ki-cHut', 'loude-ke-baal', 'picchi pooka', 'erri pooka', 'lanja pooka', 'mOfO', etc ... (assuming everyone is aware of the meaning of these words, I see no need for any translation). Anyway, to let go of my frustration on Ajit (name changed :P), I used all (and even more) of the above mentioned words. Yet, the anger did not die. Then, 'Mother Fucker!!' and 'Son of a Fucking Whore!!!' came to my rescue. That would do! You see, phrases like 'Mother Fucker!!', 'Son of a Fucking Whore!!!' ... are not used very frequently which is why their effect is intense and long lasting.
If you do not believe me, you can try it out yourself. Try any of the following with anyone you prefer (again, depending on the context) -
1. ksHamincHandi!
2. maaF keejiye!
3. Mother Fucker!!
4. Son of a Fucking Whore!!!
aaaHHHH! Now that you're done with the above experiment, you'd now believe me now, wouldn't you? I guess I'm trying to say - Please use your words carefully. Do not make zombies of sHabda by separating the bhava from them. After all, they are the medium of communication. Let's not disrupt that. Of course, I'll also keep that in mind. I know that's very difficult, but, let us give it a try. Shall We!
P.S: This is the very reason that I like songs with good lyrics AND books of authors like Sudhir Kakar, A.K. Ramanujam, Noam Chomsky, Wendy Doniger, etc... AND lectures and talks given by Ganesh Devy, Vishwajit Pandya, Aditi Nath Sarkar (they give power to the words by using them accurately along with the right expression and timing).
Before and after a word has been uttered, both the sender and recipient will no longer be in the same state. This change is permanent. That's the power of a word.
- Excerpts from the book, "The Ashwamedha" by Subash Kak
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It all started when I wanted to apologize (sincerely, with all my heart) to a person. The first (pathetic) word that came out of my mouth was 'Sorry!'. But, he wouldn't understand that since he did not know english at all, not even a word of it. The last and only resort I had was the word 'ksHamincHandi!' (roughly and vaguely translated to common english, it would mean 'Sorry!'). A strange thing happened. It was on the tip of my tongue, yet, it wasn't coming out. I wanted to, really, I do, but I couldn't.
Why? Why? Why the F**K??!!
I stormed out of that place, all frustrated and on top of it, confused (note that I did not apologize yet - I had my own problems to take care of). For hours, I was wondering why I could not do it. And then, it struck me, like a lightning! The first thing I did - went straight to the person and was able to apologize. Now that I'm done, allow me to share with you the reason ...
To err is human, but using that as excuse has become a habit. So, the word that comes handy to everyone (that includes me) and every occasion is 'Sorry'. It's like we make mistakes just to use the "S" word. We've systematically murdered the bhava, the soul of the word 'Sorry' because of the 'context-free' and hap-hazard use. One advantage of the unfortunate influence of english over regional languages - We seldom use the words like 'ksHamincHandi!', 'maaF keejiye!' and so on. And hence, the very soul of such words is tremendously powerful and still surviving. I've not been able to cope up with its power (if I may say so) and therefore found it difficult for use.
Another Instance (Warning!!! Parental Advisory. Keep your children away from the following content!). By now, every living soul (that knows me directly or indirectly) is aware of my boothu-purAna. Very rarely would you find a sentence (that comes out of my mouth) which doesn't contain the you-know-what words. Again, because of the 'context-free' use, the words like 'mAdarcHod', 'beHncHod', 'Maa-ki-cHut', 'loude-ke-baal', 'picchi pooka', 'erri pooka', 'lanja pooka', 'mOfO', etc ... (assuming everyone is aware of the meaning of these words, I see no need for any translation). Anyway, to let go of my frustration on Ajit (name changed :P), I used all (and even more) of the above mentioned words. Yet, the anger did not die. Then, 'Mother Fucker!!' and 'Son of a Fucking Whore!!!' came to my rescue. That would do! You see, phrases like 'Mother Fucker!!', 'Son of a Fucking Whore!!!' ... are not used very frequently which is why their effect is intense and long lasting.
If you do not believe me, you can try it out yourself. Try any of the following with anyone you prefer (again, depending on the context) -
1. ksHamincHandi!
2. maaF keejiye!
3. Mother Fucker!!
4. Son of a Fucking Whore!!!
aaaHHHH! Now that you're done with the above experiment, you'd now believe me now, wouldn't you? I guess I'm trying to say - Please use your words carefully. Do not make zombies of sHabda by separating the bhava from them. After all, they are the medium of communication. Let's not disrupt that. Of course, I'll also keep that in mind. I know that's very difficult, but, let us give it a try. Shall We!
P.S: This is the very reason that I like songs with good lyrics AND books of authors like Sudhir Kakar, A.K. Ramanujam, Noam Chomsky, Wendy Doniger, etc... AND lectures and talks given by Ganesh Devy, Vishwajit Pandya, Aditi Nath Sarkar (they give power to the words by using them accurately along with the right expression and timing).
i guess u r right in saying tht the word 'kshaminchandi' has a lot of deep meaning...and i see tht u r feeling very (i donno wht) abt ppl using the word 'sorry' very loosely
ReplyDeletemy question is...if the word sorry has such a deep meaning and should be used only when we did serious mistake then wht r we supposed to say when we do a small mistake...i mean thr shud be some word we can use to apologize...i know u'll say tht how i'll judge tht my mistake is big or small...just think tht i m walking in a crowd and accidentally my foot hit someone...then i say sorry
my point being, since we do a lot of small mistaked in day to day life and thr is no other word to apologize(this is also a rather deep word) we use sorry so loosely...
now i am not trying to support irrational ppl who use this word casually but i m talking abt the rational ones who use it properly...when the mistake is bigger, ppl say they r 'really sry' or 'extremly sry' etc
Looks like I've got a 'god-sent' example to support my point ...
ReplyDeleteThe day after I published this blog, my friend (name not necessary, because that he is symbolic of what we all are) and me are having dinner when he starts telling me about an incident with a girl in his batch - She, by 'mistake', takes his books (that are on his table) assuming that they're hers. So, he says (politely, btw) "I'm sorry, but, I think they are my books".
WHAT THE FUCK is that about!!! He admits that he is not sorry, but as an act of courtesy or politeness, he uses the word sorry. The politeness should be in your tone, your body language. That's enough. That's exactly what I told him.
There's one more example I can think of (I can't fucking believe that I forgot to mention about this in the blog). First, we remove the meaning of the word sorry (since we use it so casually). Then, we use 'really-sorry' to show that we are sorry (because, both u and me and everyone knows that sorry has lost it's meaning ... so, we go for a more convincing word). If you're really sorry, you go for 'really-really-really-sorry'. Repeating the word many times doesn't make it more effective. That effectiveness can be achieved through other means (like gestures, tones, etc ..). That's my point.
[ Same is the case for the 'beautiful', 'very-beautiful', 'very-very-beautiful', ... ]
Artham ayyindaa!
well, u r saying tht the meaning of sorry is lost...wht my question was, wht r u supposed to say in trivial situations other than sorry...now since u r using it in trivial situations, and in a bigger situations, u need the one u r apologizing to realize tht u r not thinking the situation is trivial...so u stress upon the only word to apologize - 'sorry'
ReplyDeletein ur example, i know he not sorry abt her taking his books...here also the issues is really trivial...when someone makes some mistake, and we point out, it is a little embarassing for them, so we apologize for embarassing them by pointing out there mistakes...i know it is trivial, but it is part of the politeness u mentioned...in this context, when they say sorry, they r not actually meaning the deep meaning of sorry, rather the surface meaning(or whtever)...i hope u get my point
its not tht the meaning of sorry is lost but its just the limit of our language...u still haven't answered wht word we r supposed in trivial conditions
8 Years back Kushi release ayyindi ,nee blog chadivithe,sorry sorry sorry(bhumika to pavan kalyan ) valla aa movie,nee blog lo comments valla potti,aa movie lo bhumika valla annaya,asala movies valla lc,pavan kalyan valla......abbo mana daiict antha gurthu avchesindhi anuko :D
ReplyDelete@pOtti: nee yabba !!! adi kooda cheppali raa! ...
ReplyDeletesmall incidents - sorry
medium - very sorry (if possible, gestures and body language can be put in)
high - extremely (gestures and body language both required ... according to me)
I guess this all started when I was in a meeting with my SPM (his use of 'very-very-very-seroius' ... that chut cud have used 'extremely-serious' in that context)
@priya: hey .. no probs! I'm glad i helped.