Hunt Down (and Kill) a Black Pussy

Hmm ... Where to begin? I've been staring at the monitor for the past 10 minutes at this point to figure out a way to start and end my story. Admitting (finally) that I'm not a creative ass, and after consoling myself, let me just put down the story as it happened.

As usual, I got up at 6 (AM), got ready for gym (ya ya ... I too want to become dard-e-disco type of a guy) and started off. I've travelled for 3kms and that's when I realised that I forgot my shoes. Cursing myself and my luck, I turned back to get my shoes. I started (again) after making sure that I did not miss anything now. My speedometer was reading 85 (kmph) when a miracle happened.

SPPLAAAATTTTTT!!!

A cat, not a regular one, but a black skinny one decides to end its life (probably, it has got problems) and falls under the speedy 150cc. Hey! I could not help it. It freaking foggy out here at 6:30 and you cannot see ten meters ahead of you. In spite of my father's many many warnings, I did not even do the vAhana pUja (you know, because, it's stupid and I don't want all crap put on my brand new bike). On top of that, now, I killed a cat (that too, a black one) with my bike. Now I begin to worry what could happen to my bike, or me, for that matter (After all, I was the black-cat-murderer).

Ask the people who know me well and they'll tell you (for sure) I'm not the kind of guy who believes in all 'this' crap. But, a time comes when you begin to doubt your logic and belief (at least, if you're in a black-cat-killing scenario). I got fed up of waiting for terrible thing to happen for the past two days and I give up. On the contrary, quite a few good things have happened. Till date, I never used to complete my work on time. I was able to complete the 'hectic' work that has been assigned to me in just a hour and half. I ignored this 'good' thing assuring myself that it might be just coincidence. The next incident changed my view-point entirely. I've been trying really hard to get the permanent registration (of my bike) done since a month and half probably. Something or the other prevents from that to happen. If it's not me in the first place (I'm a busy person), it's the availability of my agent. If it's not the availability of the agent, it's a government holiday or a second saturday or some fucking state holiday. Finally, the (seemingly) ever-postponing event of my bike registration is over. And guess what my number is. KA 09 EM 3000 ... Can you fucking believe it? With that, I'm convinced!!! All these good things are happening because something happened out of the normal. What could that be, I asked myself. Aahhh Yes! All of this happened because I killed a black pussy.

After this experience, my advice to you - Hunt down and kill a black pussy. Probably one thing might be clear. Is this just some coincidence that happened just for me or can we take for a fact that killing a black cat will bring us good luck. Then we might be able to change the popular idiom in telugu that goes - "nakka toka tokkaava ... anni ilaa kalisivastunnayi!"(translation: Did you stamp a fox's tail? Everything is in your favour!). From now on, it shall be (at least to me) - "nalla pilli ni champaava ... kaalam ilaa kalisivastundi" (translation: Did you happen to kill a black cat? The fate is in your favour!)

Let's celebrate the next time we fart !!!

My colleague (from work) and I were talking about festivals (on Sankranthi) when all of a sudden, a question struck my mind. Why the fuck do we celebrate the New Year (I mean, Jan 1st)? It's just stupid!!! Do we celebrate a day's beginning? or a month's beginning? Then why the hell do we celebrate an year's beginning? It's just a new year. Come to think of it, it has no significance at all. It makes more sense to celebrate 1st of April (New Financial Year) or June 15th or 16th (New Academic Year). At least there's some significance attached to those days. After pondering over it for a few minutes, the only possible rational explanation that I got (with a little help from Rakesh) was that it's a kind of an end (and subsequently, a beginning) of a considerable time. Is that really a valid reason to celebrate about??!! Common on ... it's even more meaningful to celebrate the day that comes once in four years (29th of Feb) or the end of a century or a millennium. It's the stuff like this which makes me think - How can people be so stupid? I've got an idea. Why don't we celebrate the next time we fart or whenever we encounter a dead rat!!! It's stuff like this which takes out the meaning and purpose of a celebration.

Fantastic Fathers

Why do fathers behave in 'the way' they do? Why has been always (at least, most of the time), considerable (emotional) gap between a father and a son. I think this is the question that has been in our mind ever since, you know, probably, the time we've started thinking. At least, that was my case. Sudhir Kakar in his book, The Indians, puts the answer to this question (as usual) in simple words.

... A traditional father operates under the logic of the joint family. This demands that in order to prevent the building up of nuclear cells within the family that can destroy its cohesion, a father be restrained in the presence of his own child and divide his interest and support equally among his own and his brothers' children. Moreover, as we shall see later in the chapter on sexuality, many a young father was embarrassed to hold his infant child in front of older family members since this fruit of his loins was clear evidence of activity in that particular region.

...
...

Another ideology impinging on traditional fathers in India is of a gender-based dichotomy in parental roles and obligations. Playing with or taking care of their infants is not what fathers do, their major roles lies in the disciplining of the child. As a north-Indian proverb, addresses to men, pithily puts it: 'Treat a son like a king for the first five years, like a slave for the next ten years and like a friend thereafter.'
Of course, behind the requisite facade of aloofness and impartiality, a traditional Indian father may be struggling to express his love for his son. Fatherly love is no less strong in India than in other societies. ... (pg: 22-23,The Indians)

So, if 'this' is the dynamics between you and your father, do NOT worry (like i used to). It just means that you are the luckiest son (your father being an IDEAL father).

P.S: Thanks, potu, for the title.

P.P.S: If you're into books, I'd recommend you to get hold of a copy of 'The Indians' soon. It's one of the best books that I've read till now. Kakar tries to give an identity to 'The Indian' through the aspects of Caste, Sexuality, Indian world-view, Sacrad texts, Food and Health etc ..

(Non) Vegetarianism

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Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
- Finley Peter Dunne
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Well, this blog is dedicated to all the vegetarians (and pseudo-vegetarians as well). While reading the usual shit, I've come across a few points through which I'd try and justify why Non-Vegetarianism is not a sin. I've taken some of the points from the book, "The Laws of Manu" (FYI). It's a really good book, I mean, really good.

Since childhood, whenever I came across a 'vegetarian', I used to ask the question, "Why don't you eat meat?". Some say, "It's a sin!"; some say, "I don't know, my fathers don't eat it, so I don't". However, the most common answer is: "How can anyone be so cruel? We do not do anything that is violent". The basis of 'not eating meat' is Violence (himsa).

Though, we all know what himsa is (hopefully), let me define the word anyway, so that it helps me in my argument. Himsa, literally means, "the desire to inflict injury". Eating and killing are sides of the same coin. You must kill (the lower animals in the food chain) in order to survive. It's the law of the nature, in the common jargon called, "the law of the fishes", where a big fish eats a small fish and a bigger fish eats the big fish. So, I wonder, how can it (killing for the purpose of eating) be classified as himsa? How can something that is natural be wrong? It's a matter of survival. Manu seems to agree with me too. He says:

Those who do not move are the food of those that move and those that have no fangs are the food of those with fangs; Those that have no hands are the food of those with hands; and cowards are the food of the Brave. (Manu 5:29)

Our (hindu) sacrad texts also reveal the same fact. "Meat is indeed the best kind of food" (11.7.1.3, Satapatha Brahmana). In the pre-vedic and the vedic times, even the brahmins used to eat meat. So, if you think about it, it seems that this idea (Vegetarianism) has been induced into our minds. How did that happen? When did that happen?

Everything was going well until two religions (philosophies rather) - Buddhism and Jainism - were gradually gaining (religious and social) power in the society. The so-called 'non-violent' principles (their concept of non-violence is flawed as well. I'll try to justify that in an other blog) of these religions posed a threat and challenged the assumptions of vedism. So, our (again, hindu) intellectuals came up with a solution. By then, the brahmins were already a superior sect. So, they claimed that they would no longer 'harm' the innocent beings. Since they were dhvijottamas (meaning, best of the twice-born), anything they would do also becomes a symbol of purity. Thus, not eating meat became a symbol of purity and non-violence.

Adhii storyy ... inkendi! katha kanchiki, manamintiki!

P.S : Happy New Year. Hoping that you'd eat a lot of Non-Veg this year.